Rosaries and Lying

Whelp, today I lied to a Catholic priest. If I were indeed Catholic, here would be my cue for a joke about going to hell haha...

While speaking with my mentor these past few weeks, I realized how I was all talk and no action when it came to prayer. I go on and on about wanting to be more like Christ, to live in a dramatic love for him and others, and to be totally sold on pursuing his way rather than my own. BUT do I actually make time for God to tell me how to do these things? When I pray, do I even really allow room for Him to dialogue back to me? I'm quite the chatty Cathy when it comes to prayer, and seem to narrow things down to a one way conversation more often than not...

THUS I decided to start using a rosary while I pray.

I can feel some born again evangelicals cringing in their seats. Well go ahead and squirm, silly people! Go read John Piper's blog for all I care!

Having physical objects--such as rosaries, holding crosses, stained glass, icons, etc--help me (and most of Christendom) focus on why I'm sitting there praying in the first place. This isn't a one way conversation. This isn't me and my thoughts. This isn't some personal reflection time on how "good" I've been lately....that almost turns prayer into a reversed time-out corner. The physical objects remind me WHO I'm praying to so that I'm vulnerable and available* for God to speak. When my fingertips are running along a crucifix, it's going to take that bee-like brain of mine away from myself and focus on the fact that "Yeah, God in the flesh came and died a gruesome criminal's death in order that I could be with him forever and ever and ever....oh wow....I should maybe freakin listen to him right now."

At any rate, here's the cue for where I lied to a sweet old Irish priest. After walking through town a bit, I stumbled upon a cathedral and went in to purchase said rosary. Half my family is Catholic, so I figured I could pretend easily enough without having to directly lie. A wedding was going on, and I narrowly avoided getting caught in the grand romantic exit pictures. But then the priest stepped outside, I was able to catch him and ask where was the church shop to purchase a rosary. He began to prattle on about how happy he was to meet an American and what time mass was every Sunday and why I hadn't come for the last three months. I could only sheepishly grin and say "It's soooo early!" Then he asked at point blank if I was Catholic. I thought my cover was blown.

So I did what every good Bible college student/church intern/worship leader would do....blatantly lied.

Though, not completely, cause we're all part of the catholic universal church, right? RIGHT?! Anywho, turns out he wasn't asking because my cover was blown or I had some sort of invisible PROTESTANT sign written on my forehead that only he could read. Instead, he was simply asking because he wanted to bless me and the rosary before I left. What a sweet man! I'm definitely going back to that cathedral to pray some time.

One of my first prayers on this rosary will be an apology for lying to kind Irish priests...


*"vulnerability and availability" is the prayer model used by the Northumbria Community

White Lace

There was a sale this week at Topshop...that's all you need to know haha.

Thank God it's been sunny all week! And nothing suits the warm weather better than white lace. Maybe it's just the Kentucky girl in me, but white lace and a mint julep (made with Woodford Reserve, of course) and some sun kissed skin sounds like the perfect evening to me.

TGIF!

Dress: Topshop

Earrings: random shop in Maryland...sorry that's not more helpful haha

Heels: Primark

These shorts were on sale as well...I'd be unpatriotic not to get a pair, right?!

Kate Moss

I haven't done a fashion post in a while...this is what happens when I do haha. But seriously, I miss creating these. It's refreshing and inspirational to see the creative, spunky side of people's dress. I adored this t-shirt as soon as I saw it in the window of a Liverpool thrift shop. I made my friend walk back 5 minutes through a downpour because I couldn't resist owning it!! Kate Moss is my favorite model. I know she's considered trashy and crazy by some--which is occasionally true--but I'm in love with how she mingles being this beautiful English rose turned rock n roll.

And c'mon: how could I not resist capturing a pic of this random boat that sits in our car park?? It makes me chuckle every time I come home.

Shirt: thrifted, Skirt: Primark

Shoes: Minnetonka moccasins

Kate Moss and the boat...good times

And I can't resist putting up a few pics of my stunning flatmate :) I'm so lucky to spend the summer with her.

Her beautiful soul matches this smile!

Bee Keeper

This morning I was amongst a lovely group of people who get up early to laugh and eat fresh strawberries and buttery crumpets and drink copious amounts of real coffee then pray together for this beloved city and our neighbors. Today was yet another in a string of positively gorgeous days; therefore, we had the windows all fully open and the curtains drawn proudly back. Because of our exuberance to get some much needed vitamin D, a bee managed to make its way into the flat and decided it'd be a perfect time to show off its flying capabilities and volume of its buzzing. So during our whole prayer gathering, this bee was flinging itself about the ceiling in a very show-off-ish manner.

I kept getting annoyed at the poor thing until God seemed to tap me on the shoulder and said, "Oh, honey, you do realize that bee is you...."

Both in my prayer life and while trying to practice meditation, my mind is JUST like that bee. I am zooming around at 100 mph and show no signs of stopping--even for God. Throughout the day, my mind is just roaming over my to-do list or pondering one person I care about to another...but never He who I love most. During worship, my mind quickly starts to flutter about the ceiling and drag in where I left my cell phone and if my apartment is locked. During prayer, my mind buzzes on and on about that latest episode of SKINS and if I should call my mom since I haven't in over a month and whether or not I would look good in canary yellow shorts.

One of the fruits of the Spirit is self control, and holy crap does that one directly apply to my bee-like mind. As we continued on in the morning prayer, we repeated a few beautiful phrases about all the different parts of ourselves with which we love God. My thought process went a little like this as the whole group was speaking out loud:

I will love God with all my heart... YES! I got that one! I'm a hopeless romantic. Reeeeaaally big, sloppy lover when it comes to the Lord. I could go on for ages about God's love. In this jacked up world?!? I can only cope BY loving God and also accepting His love. Basically the Bible is one big romance novel between the Trinity and humanity!! YESSS LOVE IT!!!! Boom. Givin' my heart to Him.

I will love God with all my soul... NAILED IT! My soul is as strained and shredded as it has ever been in my whole life. So, let's just say, I turned that one over to the Big Man Upstairs a looong time ago. My soul felt like a weeping willow for ages and ages. I give Him my soul every day or else I would've committed suicide a long time ago! *awkward internal laugh* Good thing no one can hear these thoughts anywho....

I will love God with all my strength... Really? Is that even an issue? I'm kind of a pansy anyways so I don't really understand how this applies to those of us who aren't Schwarzenegger...but, hey, I'll go ahead and say it. Jesus, you can have all of my puny little blond woman strength! Actually, wait, I am strong aren't I? God, you spent the past six months teaching me how I can be strong because I'm reliant on Your strength--which never fails. Oh....I almost forgot about that lesson...well, this is awkward...OK YOU HAVE ALL MY STRENGTH! Whooo nice save.

I will love God with all my mind....Shit.

The rest of my thoughts basically deteriorated from there on out as I realized how my mind wanders far from God even when He is trying to pull me closest to Him. I become obsessed with thoughts that do anything but help me focus on the joy and peace of the Spirit. I have very little control when my mind begins to drag me down into the dark, scary pits which rehashes every painful memory and my own soul's ugliness for all it really is. Or, on a lighter note, I have very little self control when my mind begins to uplift me way higher than I deserve; thus, I'm walking around like a proud, self absorbed jerk.

It's very hard to love God with all your mind. We want to focus on so many other things than Him. We are bees fluttering about, making all kinds of noise and bumping into a hard white ceiling that's never going to give no matter how much we slam our tiny bodies into it. There's nothing wrong with having thoughts that aren't 24-7 "religious." The danger is when we have no self control over those thoughts; not to mention, when our mind can never sit still and focus on God's goodness or the things He may be trying to say to us.

So I've decided to become a bee keeper (metaphorically). God gave us the mind and our intellect--we should use it! However, learning to keep the bees in check is the tricky, mature thing. Thank goodness we love a God who is so patient and gracious towards us...cause in all reality, He's the Master Bee Keeper.


On a totally unrelated note, here are pics from Wimbledon haha :) I love my church community!

We were tickle monsters...be very afraid

Breathtaking

Sometimes we have these moments where we just look out at things and say, "Damn...life is good."

I've had my fair share of those moments this past week. Life is suddenly bursting at the seams with beauty and laughter and surprises and mistakes and lessons learned and lessons ignored and adventure. In some odd version of an American coming of age story which I'm sure Salinger would enjoy, I have finally stumbled upon the fact that this literally is the time of my life. Here I am, in my youth, living my dream in all the non-cliched forms of that phrase. I'm startled to blink since I may open my eyes and find myself thirty years down the road looking back on these gloriously crazy times.

Right now is a gift God's given you. Right now is the time of your life. Don't let it pass you by. I was a fool once to think my life had somehow ended or that there wasn't better things yet to come.

Look out at your life and allow it to take your breath away.

The ever so gorgeous Edinburgh

At the Scottish National Portrait Gallery

Eternally a sucker for good smelling books

The view from the top of Arthur's Seat

I just drool over the architecture of this city

Three's the charm?

Courtesy of Roo Inn's Photography

Red White N Blue, Baby

Happy 4th of July!! MURRRRICAAA!! In all seriousness, I was so blessed to be born in a free and prosperous country. And as much as our lovely land is filled with problems, we should never take for granted its blessings nor the people who died to achieve such things.

Even though I'm across the pond, today was absolutely gorgeously celebrated and filled with friends, ministry, God's grace, an ice cold coke, and a good book.... and also some tiny red bugs which I thought were cute lil friends until I realized they were baby spiders aka NOT my friends.

Enjoy my favorite rock n roll song bout the beautiful red, white, and blue. Love and laugh today!

I had to get a pic to gush bout the lovely weather here! Thank you, mother England :)