The Fun of 21

When people ask me what it's like to be 21, my face uncontrollably tends to contract into this expression... Don't get me wrong, being 21 is fan-flippin-tastic. For example, I can still eat all the junk food I want while simultaneously having a cultured affection for documentaries enough to know what meat is doing to my body and why boycotting McDonalds is equivalent to boycotting the plague. I can talk to and give advice to my 16 year old niece and her friends without feeling like a lecturing parent while simultaneously getting to go to a bar and not feel like such an infant.

However, there are a few things that we have to look forward to at this age that are...well...the sort of list to embarrass your future children with whilst you remind your fellow forty year old friends over wine.

1) One day it hits you like a well-planned surprise Russian nuc that you are graduating in a few months and that you have zero of the ideas what to do in life. Or EVEN better, you have a clear and concise and meticulously pursued plan that turns into shambles and ends in a projected summer working again as a nanny...or worse, at H&M...or double worse for your stepdad's lumber company.

2) College has become your Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.You absolutely adore the main professors in your department, but homework and senior projects make you want to develop an elaborate scheme pretending to have mono to skip class for three weeks. You stubbornly, desperately want to be in the "real world" and do away with school, but not having the "I'm a student" scapegoat and not being able to get a student discount at the movie theater terrifies you. You LOVE your friends, but you also can't help but respond in apathetic blinking to EVERY SINGLE OTHER PERSON ON CAMPUS. No, over exuberant freshman, I really don't think that professor is God and every word out of her mouth is some pearl of Christendom wisdom. Also, Taco Tuesday is not going to change your life. It's just going to give you gas. Double also, stop trying to find your husband here. Most boys are trolls. And if they aren't trolls then they are 10 years older than you and graduated.

3) DID I MENTION YOU ARE GOING TO LOSE YOUR STUDENT DISCOUNT IN T-MINUS 6 MONTHS?!? No more free Art Institute days. No more cheap(er) Qudoba. No more student universe airplane tickets. Now everything you wanted to do with your magical card of studentdom must be completed within this last semester. What if I wanted to see Frozen seven days in a row for only $6 each time?!?!?! What if I wanted to spontaneously fly to Spain with my besties with testies for Spring Break?!?!?! What if I wanted to order five burritos for an SVU marathon?!?!?! DO IT ALL NOW.

4) The joys of seeing friends get married and act like functioning, mature, Disney fantasy fulfilling adults while you still make out with boys and never talk to them again and "forget" to save their numbers in your phone...

5) Also, a nice educated boy who loves to travel and drink fine red wine loves you; but hey, you're 21! You have the brilliant ability to not like them whatsoever and instead perpetually fall for the unemployed musician on a motorcycle with no billing address. Oh yeah. Sounds like a wise choice to me.

I wear hair bows. Aka often the extent of my good life decisions.

6) Here's the fork in the road when you begin to see that your love life is peculiarly modeling itself after a character on any of the following TV shows: How I Met Your Mother, Girls, Sex in the City, Gilmore Girls, Parks and Rec, or New Girl. Not to mention, you find therapeutic fulfillment watching said shows because honestly you'd rather take that scripted advice over any of the bullshit people have to say to you.

7) You have become allergic to basically all majestic foods in life. Your favorite childhood foods either lean towards frenemy status or full on WWIII with your body. Gluten and dairy seem to have developed a Nazi-like regime determined to obliterate your stomach lining. Strawberries punch you in the face and make you swell up like a fat kid. Tomatoes just can't wait to make your already pasty ass skin erupt in hives. But, hey, at least in a bar your new found 21 year old allergies can be forgotten at the door! Vodka = potatoes. Potatoes = everyone's friend.

8) You are extremely protective of and stake out territory on YOUR spot at one of the following places on your college campus: local coffee shop, neighborhood bar, sushi restaurant, couch hidden in a school lobby corner, best pastrami sammich place, broom closet, under someone's bed, giant bean bag in your friend's apartment, the leftie desk. Any freshman who dares encroach upon that special spot is sure to receive this face from you...

9) Tiny creatures and little children have actually become your friends rather than being annoying or terrifying. Kittens are adorable and fluffy and can only sass you by batting at your ponytail. Puppies just shower you with so much love that you forgot you could be such a cranky bitch. Children are hilarious and genuine and say interesting insightful things; in fact, you'd rather grab your red wine and sit in a corner playing with them than hang out with any of the lame conceited adults at that Christmas party. However, naturally, at the first Great Aunt questioning of when you will posses any of these things you and your happily empty ovaries just want to run away via your youthful tech savey skills pretending you have an urgent phone call.

Kittenz

KITTEEEEENNNNZZZZZZ

BABIIIEEEEEZZZZZZZZZ

 10) My favorite age development of all: the girl you trippin. It's the undeniable talent we have mastered whereby we excel and are super fantastic at the most ridiculous and unnecessary of tasks; yet real life dramatically important or--at least--serious choices are an epic fail and ALWAYS end in our best friend giving us raised eyebrows and saying girl you trippin. For example, you basically are a CHOPPED champion. You can look in your fridge and turn any 5 ingredients into a freakin MASTERPIECE. Peanut butter, canned tuna, wheat bread, ketchup, and coffee creamer?? HA. I. Own. You. However, applying for post graduate jobs so that you don't end up living in your mom's basement come May? Ehhhh I can do that after this Boy Meets World marathon. Pack up your entire life in only 3 hours before your RA has room inspections? Boss. Of. Life. Tell the boy who you've been madly in love with for 6 months about your feelings?? Errrmm maybe I just awkwardly bring up gouda or snails every time he asks about our relationship.

11) Funny pictures with your friends are no longer ironic or for the sake of being cute or trying to get facebook likes from that boy who lives down the hall. They are taken because ya'll are a bunch of freaks and nerds.

12) You feel confident in some very concrete things about yourself. You no longer feel the need to go to every single party or date every single boy who gives you his number or become best friends with every single person who sits down at your lunch table or take notes as if your life depends on it from every single professor dishing out their two-cents. You know parts of your God given personality that are fantastic and you can be super confident in them and can wake up and go all kinds of diva in the mirror and say FLAWLESS. You also are beginning to be *keenly* aware in the areas of life where you suck hard core...the areas that caused that nice person to break up with you, made that dear friend distant, or allowed your pet beta fish to die. It's a nasty wake up call to just how atrocious you can be. And you know what? Cheers to discovering those things because you are going to grow and all that mess is going to be slowly wrung out of you like a dirty sponge.

And being 21 in 2014 is going to be great, miserable, surprising, confusing, joyful, tiring, forgetful, remarkable, intense, elating. So just be ready for that journey God will take you on. He's not going to let you stumble or race through it alone. Cheers to all who are 21--in your heart or in your years!